Day 11: The Heavy Weight of Unforgiveness (And How to Drop It)

Today, we’re getting into it. We’re talking about forgiveness and release. And let’s be real, this one isn’t easy.

Think about your life. I know you can picture that person. The one who hurt you so deeply with their words, their actions, or maybe their inaction. They left a trail of resentment inside you that you’re still cleaning up.

Maybe it was a parent. They hurt you so badly that, without even realizing it, you made a silent vow: I will never have a family. And just like that, you start sabotaging every romantic relationship that comes your way.

Or maybe it was a friend. A family member. Someone whose betrayal cut so deep that you now reject anyone who tries to get close. You build walls to make sure no one can ever get in to hurt you like that again.

Here’s the funny, messed-up thing about holding a grudge: you become the loser. Not them.

They get to carry on with their lives, often with no consequences. But you? You’re the one stuck with the mental turmoil and the emotional burden. You’re carrying all that hatred while they’re out there living their life. The pain they inflicted put your life on standstill, and you just can’t seem to move on.

And listen—do not wait for an apology from people like this, it is never coming. That’s the harsh truth.

So what’s the best thing for you to do? The only thing you can do.

Forgive them in your heart. Let go of the pain they caused you.

Why? Because that pain is preventing you from experiencing all the good things. If you grew up resenting your parent as a husband or a wife, you might now be denying yourself true intimacy with a partner. You might be too scared to even try. Unforgiveness doesn’t just sabotage your social life; it kills your body, too. All that emotional burden can later manifest as some unexplainable autoimmune disease or send you spiraling into a deep depression. It’s poison.

Now, let’s talk about the other side of this. Sometimes, the villain in your story isn’t someone else.

Sometimes, the villain is you.

You’ve done things you’re not proud of. Things that hurt others or hurt yourself. The guilt and shame wash over you, and you walk right into a cycle of self-punishment. You self-isolate. You deny yourself good things. You feel worthless. You might even self-harm.

You have to stop. You must forgive yourself for those wrongs and move forward. Stop holding onto the past.

This is where we find it: the joy of release.

Releasing all that emotional burden. Casting it away. The freedom that comes from forgiving and releasing hatred, resentment, and grudges? It’s something else.

The power those situations and those people held over you just… dissipates. You find yourself feeling lighter. You start enjoying life more.

It’s not about them. It never was. It’s about you taking your power back.